Who You Really Are: Rejecting Religious Identity Anchoring

I saw this post on Facebook and decided a response was in order.

"This is who you and I really are, and who you have always been: a son or daughter of God, with spiritual roots in eternity and a future overflowing with infinite possibilities. You are — first and foremost and always — a spiritual being."

— President M. Russell Ballard - General Conference - October 2019

"This is who you really are" - No, this is who you're being told you are by an institution that benefits from you accepting this identity.

Who I really am is determined by:

• My choices and actions
• My values and how I live them
• My relationships and how I treat people
• My thoughts, feelings, and experiences
• My growth and change over time

Not by an unprovable claim about my pre-mortal existence.

"A son or daughter of God with spiritual roots in eternity" - This is unfalsifiable religious assertion, not fact. I have no memory of this alleged pre-existence. No evidence supports it. It's a story Mormonism tells to create a sense of cosmic identity and obligation.

What I actually have roots in:

• My biological parents and ancestry
• The culture and community I was raised in
• The experiences that shaped who I've become
• The choices I've made along the way

"A future overflowing with infinite possibilities" - Ironically, Mormon theology actually limits possibilities by defining the path to exaltation narrowly: baptism, temple marriage, specific ordinances, obedience to church leaders, paying tithing.

The infinite possibilities exist outside this framework:

• I can define my own purpose
• I can choose my own values
• I can create my own meaning
• I'm not bound by someone else's plan for my "eternal progression"

"You are — first and foremost and always — a spiritual being" - This prioritizes an unprovable, unfalsifiable dimension over my tangible, lived reality.

I am first and foremost:

• A biological organism with consciousness
• A person with thoughts and feelings
• A human being navigating relationships and society
• Someone with the capacity to grow, learn, and change

Whether I'm "spiritual" is a question I get to answer for myself, not something Ballard gets to assert as my primary identity.

The function of this quote:

This statement serves to:

1. Override your self-knowledge - "Who you think you are doesn't matter; THIS is who you really are"

2. Create dependency - If your true identity is as God's child, you need God to be complete

3. Establish obligation - Sons and daughters owe their Father obedience and gratitude

4. Minimize earthly life - Your "spiritual" identity matters more than your actual lived experience

5. Prevent questioning - Doubting the church means doubting your own fundamental identity

The manipulation:

This is a thought-terminating cliché. When you're struggling, doubting, or wanting to leave, leaders invoke this: "Remember who you really are." It's meant to override your current feelings and experiences with an assertion about your "true" identity that conveniently requires staying in the church to fully realize.

The reality:

I'm a human being with one life that I know about for certain. I'm shaped by biology, experience, relationships, and choices. My identity is something I discover and create through living, not something revealed by religious leaders claiming to know my "true" spiritual nature.

Ballard's quote sounds comforting and elevating. In practice, it's a tool for maintaining institutional control by defining your identity in terms that require the church to validate.

Who am I really? I'm someone who gets to answer that question for myself.